What is character education

Understanding Character

A lot of times, we hear people talk about someone as a man of character. Other times, someone might be described as an unreliable character. Sometimes, we hear them referred to as quite a character !

When people begin to talk about character, there could be a dozen different shades to their tone. They might be sounding impressed, awed, disgusted, frightened, amused, bemused or a combination of these reactions.

What exactly is character ? The dictionary would tell you that it is, basically, an attribute or a quality that defines a person. This means that you are defined by a certain set of habits, qualities or attitudes and these form the basis upon which you character is judged.

Character can have positive or negative associations. For instance, when someone is called a man of character, the unsaid adjective is a positive one. It means that he is ethically and morally upright and can be trusted.

When someone is just a character, it means that he is unique. He could be funny, awkward, interesting or ridiculous. But he has a strong distinctive personality that sets him apart from others.

Every attribute of you goes into the building of your character. If someone were to describe YOU as a character, they would take into consideration all aspects of your personality, including your physical appearance, your social habits, your psychological reactions and other people’s perception of your strengths. In fact, the last aspect – other people’s perceptions of you character – is what goes into giving you a reputation, whether positive or negative.

Raising children words of wisdom

One of the many compliments that elders bestow upon youngsters is – “What a well-brought up boy/girl!” We also hear praises heaped upon a child or youngster in the name of good breeding.
On the other hand, when a child misbehaves, the first people to get blamed are the parents. After all, they are the ones responsible for the behavior of a child until he/she is old enough to assume individual responsibility. Actually, even after growing up, it is your parents who get blamed for your behavior, because you cannot build a great house if the foundations are not strong and deep.

A well-brought up person is instantly recognized as one. Such a person is usually courteous, calm, confident and willing to help. Often, he/she will also be talented and eager to listen to others. Good upbringing is all about training a child to be a good citizen and an asset to society. To this end, a parent has to think of the ideal citizen and try to encourage – remember, ‘encourage’ and NOT force – the child to become this ideal.

We all expect other people in society to be honest, forthright, incorruptible, hard working, learned, socially conscious, environmentally sensitive, generous, polite, broad-minded, non-violent and tolerant. The only way this is possible if our own children are brought up to be all these things. And the only way our children will submit to this sort of upbringing is when we also aspire to be the ideal.

And it is not fair to expect a governess, a maid, a teacher or even a finishing school to convert your child into a magically perfect creature. When you bring a child into the world and give him (or her) your name, you are forever linked to his fate and responsible for his values and his reputation.

One golden rule – while teaching a child anything, do not insult him/her. No reprimands in public or in the presence of friends. Children are entitled to their dignity too. If a mistake has been made, wait until you are alone with the child and then gently correct him/her.You have to give advice and counsel, but most of all, you have to show a child that it is possible to live with dignity and treat others with respect and kindness. You must teach them the difference between hoarding money and saving up for a rainy day.

You can demonstrate that it is much more fun to share joys and toys, by sharing what you treasure. You can train a child to show respect to elders by treating your own elders with the utmost respect. You can help a child imbibe the value of education by continuing your own learning process, or taking up some course of study. Building up ‘good qualities’ is never easy. But the best, and perhaps the only, way to teach a child anything is to set an example.

Parenting skills - Rearing Moral Children

How do our children learn right from wrong? How do we teach them to be the kind of people who enhance rather than diminish the quality of life in our society? How do we pass on to them a sense of morality, values, and social responsibility?

Characteristics of Moral People

Of all the parts of parenting, no part is as important as raising children with good values. As parents, we may hope our children are good athletes, achieve in school, are artistically talented, or good looking, but nothing is as important as their moral behavior. If our children are not good, honest, self-disciplined, kind, hard-working people, then their humanity is diminished. But what does it mean to say our children are "good" people?

The following characteristics help promote moral development:

• honest and trustworthy
• faithful and loyal
• hard-working, responsible, and self-disciplined
• kind, with concern for their fellow human beings
• independent, able to resist the pressure of the crowd
• generous, giving, and selfless
• loving, empathetic, sensitive, and tolerant
• friendly, helpful, cheerful, and gentle
• concerned for justice, and respectful of legitimate authority, rules, and laws
• respectful of themselves and the rights of others
• respectful of life, property, nature, elders, and parents
• courteous, polite, having good manners
• fair in work and play
• merciful and forgiving, understanding the futility of holding a grudge
• service oriented, willing to contribute to family, friends, community, country, religious organizations, and school
• courageous
• peaceful, calm, and serene

Morality is Respect

Parents need to respect children and require respect in return. Discipline must be respectful and model the restraint, gentleness, and fairness we expect of our children. As children get older, we need to ask for and consider their opinions when setting rules and consequences.

Children develop morality slowly, and in stages. These stages have their foundation in a secure attachment and basic trust, beginning in the preschool years and continuing to develop even in the adult years. These stages are the ones of right and wrong that we carry around in our heads as children, teens, and adults. Each stage has its own theory and idea of what is good and right and different reasons why people should be good. Each stage brings a person closer to mature moral development.

Respect Kids and Require Respect in Return

Treating kids with respect means treating them like persons, being fair with them, relating to them at their level, and making some allowances for the immaturity of their developmental stage. It means giving kids the feeling that you're trying to consider their point of view.

Since morality is a two-way street, we can require respect in return from our children. We can insist on courtesy and expect consideration. We can require in firm, unmistakable ways, the special respect that is due us as parents and caretakers and the simple respect that is due every human being.

Teach by Example

One of the surest ways to help our children turn their moral reasoning into positive moral behavior is to teach by example. Teaching kids respect by respecting them is certainly one way to teach by example. But teaching by example goes beyond how we treat our children. It has to do with how we treat others as adults, how we treat and talk about others outside the family. It has to do with how we lead our lives. Think back to how your own parents influenced your moral development by the examples they set. We teach respect for all persons by the examples we set. Nothing else is more indelibly etched in our childrens' minds.

Teach by Telling

Even though it is extremely important to teach by example, it is not enough. Children are surrounded by bad examples. They need our words as well as our actions. They need to see us leading good lives, but they also need to know why we do it. For our example to have maximum impact, they need to know the values and beliefs that lie behind it.

Children's books can be helpful in illustrating values. Moving stories that are told through television shows or movies can also open the conversation with children about morality. Worship, study, and celebration of your religious faith together as a family also can promote moral development.

Help Children Learn to Think

It is not enough to set a good example and tell children what we think, important as those things are. We also have to teach them to think for themselves. One father describes how his parents did that: "Whenever I did something wrong, my parents didn't just demand that I stop my behavior. Instead, they almost always asked, 'How would you feel if someone did that to you?' That gave me a chance to reflect on whatever I did and how I'd like to have it done to me."

There are two very important moral lessons here. First, take the time to think. Second, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Neither of those things comes naturally to children. We can help their moral development by giving them constant encouragement to stop and think and to take the viewpoint of others into consideration. Children who think about and discuss moral issues make better headway through the stages of moral reasoning than children who don't.

Help Children Take on Real Responsibilities

Have your children complete chores and jobs around the house, take responsibility for their own homework, or take care of a younger sister or brother, an ill family member, or animals. Volunteering, service projects, and giving to a charity provide an opportunity to give of self through responsible action.

Balance Independence and Control

Children need limits with independence, roots, and wings. Finding the balance can be tricky. Too much parental control can lead children to rebel and make poor choices just to get some freedom. Too much freedom leads to children feeling overwhelmed - having too much power before they are ready for it. With an overabundance of freedom, children may get the idea that parents don't really care what they do or what kind of person they become.

Love Children and Help Them Develop a Positive Self-Concept

Parental love helps a child take in parental values and rules. Parents who spend quality and quantity time with their children as well as love them abundantly have children who have higher

FOR CHILDREN

Family Values - How to instill family values


How does one define values or a value system?

A value could be defined as a belief or attitude that you hold close; something that you want to keep as a standard for judging yourself and the rest of the world. It is the basis for your sense of right and wrong, good or bad.

It is our values that drive us to act in certain ways, to lead a certain lifestyle and to shun certain habits. For instance, if you truly believe that consuming alcohol is not a good thing, you will not drink. And if you do, you will probably feel guilty and regret it later. If you meet others who do not believe in the same things as you do, you might be uncomfortable with them.

Or at least, you might not approve of them and be afraid that they do not approve of you. Each of us has a unique value system actually – almost as unique as our fingerprints. Because a value system is not just something that is passed down from parents or learnt through behavior in schools etc. It is fine-tuned and developed through personal experiences, in combination with the values that our immediate society (the social circle in which we live and the people with whom we interact) lends to us. Yet, value systems can differ starkly even within the same family or group of friends. For instance, your parents may think it is wrong to marry out of your own caste or community, while your brother may not believe in marriage at all. Similarly, you may not like lying to your parents but your best friend may think it is just another way of making life easier.

Therefore, honesty is a value for you. Values can be related to health, cultural awareness, spirituality, religion, preservation of nature, integrity, loyalty, wealth, stability and security, creativity, independence, search for fame or peace, personal growth and education.There are many values and any combination of these separate values will form a person’s value system. To figure out yours, you must do a lot of soul-searching, ask yourself questions about what really matters to you and what you deeply believe in, or what are the issues that you are not willing to compromise on – that will be your unique set of values.

Prayers for Children, prayers for Kids, child prayer

hank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat,
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you God for everything.

God is great,
God is good.
And we thank Him
For our food. Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father from above,
Look down on (Names of Children) with love,
Please keep them in your care,
And tonight hear their prayer.

God made the sun,
And God made the trees,
God made the mountains,
And God made me.
Thank you O God,
For the sun and the trees,
For making the mountains,
And for making me.

I see the moon.
The moon sees me.
God bless the moon,
And God bless me.

Day is done
Gone the sun
From the lake,
From the hills,
From the sky.
All is well, safely rest.
God is nigh.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
God bless our family and our friends.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
May angels watch me
through the night and
wake me with the morning light.

Dear Lord, Thank you for my family :

and not only for those I live with, but grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins. Please be with them today.

Dear Lord, We are sorry for doing wrong things.

Please forgive us. Help us to forgive those who are unkind to us.

Dear Lord, Help me to notice people who need my help.

Children who are alone without friends, My parents or teachers,

when they need a hand.

Dear Lord, As I turn off the light, please be with me.

Help me to get to sleep, and please give me good dreams.

HINDUISM

Introduction

Hinduism is not a religion but a way of life. Unlike other religions, Hindu dharma has many specialties. This is not known as a religion, it is known as the dharma;

Sanaathana Dharma.

Sanaathana means, according to Bhagavath Geetha, which cannot be destroyed by fire,weapons, water, air, and which is present in all living and non living being. Dharma means,the way of life which is the ‘total of all aachaaraas or customs and rituals’.Sanaathana Dharma has its foundation on scientific spirituality. In the entire ancient Hinduliterature we can see that science and spirituality are integrated. It is mentioned in the 40th
chapter of the Yajurveda known as Eesaavaasya Upanishad that use scientific knowledgefor solving problems in our life and use the spiritual knowledge for attaining immortalitythrough philosophical outlook.
Remember that in each and every aachaaraa there will be a component of spirituality in it.Without spirituality, nothing exists in Sanaathana dharma. Generally everyone bear a wrong
impression that this spirituality is religion. Spirituality is different in Hindu dharma. Here the question of religion does not exist at all, because Hindu dharma was not created by anindividual, prophet or an incarnation. Spirituality is a part of every Hindu custom in thenormal life of a Hindu.
Aachaaraas are to be followed based on their merits available from the self experience; youneed not blindly follow a teacher or someone who gives advice without reasoning. All these
aachaaraas are mentioned for the prosperity of the human beings and it should be the primefocus for practicing the Hindu aachaaraas.
Achaaryaath paadam aadatthe
paadam sishya swamedhayaa
paadam sa brahmachaaribhya
sesham kaala kramena cha
This is an important advice given in smruthies. It means a person can get only one quarterof knowledge from Achaarya - the teacher, another quarter by analyzing self, one quarter bydiscussing with others and the last quarter during the process of living by method addition,
deletion, correction, and modification of already known aachaaraas or neW aachaaraas.
Aachaaraath labhathe hi ayu:
aachaaraath dhanamakshayam
aachaaraath labhathe suprajaa:
aachaaro ahanthya lakshanam
Aachaaraas are followed for the psychological and physiological health and long life;Aachaaraas are followed for prosperity and wealth; Aachaaraas are followed for strong family and social bondage and following the Aachaaraas give a fine personality, dharmic outlook andvision, says our dharmasaastra.In India everyone followed Aachaaraas for the above mentioned psychological, physiological,family relation, social benefits and national integration based benefits. It is your right andduty to understand scientifically, rationally and logically the meaning of each and every
Aachaaraas and follow the same in your life systematically.

Why do we do aarati?

Why do we do aarati?

Towards the end of every ritualistic worship (pooja or bhajan) of the Lord or to welcome an honored guest or saint, we perform the aarati. This is always accompanied by the ringing of the bell and sometimes by singing, playing of musical instruments and clapping. It is one of the sixteen steps (shodasha upachaara) of the pooja ritual. It is referred to as the
lighted lamp in the right hand, which we wave in a clockwise circling movement to light the entire form of the Lord. Each part is revealed individually and also the entire form of the Lord. As the light is waved
we either do mental or loud chanting of prayers or simply behold the beautiful form of the Lord, illumined by the lamp. At the end of the aarati we place our hands over the
flame and then gently touch our eyes and the top of the head.
We have seen and participated in this ritual from our childhood. Let us find out why we do the aarati? Having worshipped the Lord of love - performing abhisheka, decorating the image and offering fruits and delicacies, we see the beauty of the Lord in all His glory. Our minds are focused on each limb of the Lord as the lamp lights it up. It is akin to silent open-eyed meditation on His beauty. The singing, clapping, ringing of the bell etc. denote the joy and auspiciousness, which accompanies the vision of the Lord.

Aarati is often performed with camphor. This holds a telling spiritual significance. Camphor when lit, burns itself out completely without leaving a trace of it. It represents our inherent tendencies (vaasanas). When lit by the fire of knowledge which illumines the Lord (Truth), our vaasanas thereafter burn themselves out completely, not leaving a trace of ego which
creates in us a sense of individuality that keeps us separate from the Lord.

Also while camphor burns to reveal the glory of Lord, it emits a pleasant perfume even while it sacrifices itself. In our spiritual progress, even as we serve the guru and society, we should willingly sacrifice ourselves and all we have, to spread the "perfume" of love to all. We often wait a long while to see the illumined Lord but when the aarati is actually performed, our
eyes close automatically as if to look within.

This is to signify that each of us is a temple of the Lord. Just as the priest reveals the form of the Lord clearly with the aarati flame, so too the guru reveals to us the divinity within each of us with the help of the "flame" of knowledge (or the light of spiritual knowledge). At the end of the aarati, we place our hands over the flame and then touch our eyes and the top of the head. It means - may the light that illuminated the
Lord light up my vision; may my vision be divine and my thoughts noble and beautiful. The philosophical meaning of aarati extends further. The sun, moon, stars, lightning and fire are the natural sources of light. The Lord is the source of this wonderous phenomenon of the
universe. It is due to Him alone that all else exist and shine. As we light up the Lord with the flame of the aarati, we turn our attention to the very source of all light, which symbolizes knowledge and life. Also the sun is the presiding deity of the intellect, the moon, that of the mind, and fire, that
of speech. The Lord is the supreme consciousness that illuminates all of them. Without Him, the intellect cannot think, nor can the mind feel nor the tongue speaks. The Lord is beyond the mind, intellect and speech. How can this finite equipment illuminate the Lord?
Therefore, as we perform the aarati we chant;

Na tatra suryo bhaati na chandra taarakam
Nemaa vidyuto bhaanti kutoyamagnib
Tameva bhaantam anubhaati sarvam
Tasya bhasa sarvam idam vibhaati

He is there where the sun does not shine,
Nor the moon, stars and lightning.
then what to talk of this small flame (in my hand),
Everything (in the universe) shines only after the Lord,
And by His light alone are we all illumined.
Swami Chinmayananda

Why do we offer a coconut?

Why do we offer a coconut?


In India one of the most common offerings in a temple is a coconut. It is also offered on occasions like weddings, festivals, the use of a new vehicle, bridge, house etc. It is offered in the sacrificial fire whilst performing homa. The coconut is broken and placed before the Lord. It is later distributed as prasaada.
The fibre covering of the dried coconut is removed except for a tuft on the top. The marks on the coconut make it look like the head of a human being. The coconut is broken, symbolising the breaking of the ego.

The juice within, representing the inner tendencies (vaasanas) is offered along with the white kernel - the mind, to the Lord. A mind thus purified by the touch of the Lord is used as prasaada ( a holy gift). In the traditional abhishekha ritual done in all temples and many homes, several materials are poured over the deity like milk, curd, honey, tender coconut water, sandal paste, holy ash etc. Each material has a specific significance of bestowing certain benefits on worshippers. Tender coconut water is used in abhisheka rituals since it is believed to bestow spiritual growth on the seeker.

The coconut also symbolises selfless service. Every part of the tree -the trunk, leaves, fruit, coir etc. Is used in innumerable ways like thatches, mats, tasty dishes, oil, soap etc. It takes in even salty water from the earth and converts it into sweet nutritive water that is especially beneficial to sick people. It is used in the preparation of many ayurvedic medicines and in other alternative medicinal systems. The marks on the coconut are even thought to represent the three-eyed Lord Shiva and therefore it is considered to be a means to fulfill our desires

Why do we say shaanti thrice?

Why do we say shaanti thrice?


Shaanti, meaning "peace", is a natural state of being. Disturbances are created either by others or us. For example, peace already exists in a place until someone makes noise. Therefore, peace underlies all our agitations. When agitations end, peace is naturally experienced since it was already there. Where there is peace, there is happiness. Therefore, every one without exception desires peace in his/her life.However, peace within or without seems very hard to attain because it is covered by our own agitations. A rare few manage to remain peaceful within even in the midst of external agitation and troubles.

To invoke peace, we chant prayers. By chanting prayers, troubles end and peace is experienced internally, irrespective of the external disturbances. All such prayers end by chanting shaanti thrice. It is believed that trivaram satyam - that which is said thrice comes true. For emphasizing a point we repeat a thing thrice. In the court of law also, one who takes the witness stands says, "I shall speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth". We chant shaanti thrice to emphasise our intense desire for peace. All obstacles, problems and sorrows originate from three sources.

Aadhidaivika : The unseen divine forces over which we have little or no control like earthquakes, floods, volcanic eruptions etc.

Aadhibhautika: The known factors around us like accidents, human contacts, pollution, crime etc.

Aadhyaatmika : We sincerely pray to the Lord that at least while we undertake special tasks or even in our daily lives, there are no problems or that, problems are minimised from the three sources written about above.
May peace alone prevail. Hence shaanti is chanted thrice.
It is chanted aloud the first time, addressing the unseen forces. It is chanted softer the second time, directed to our immediate surroundings and those around, and softest the last time as it is addressed to oneself.